Quoth Erlich, the douchey bro who runs the “incubator” on “Silicon Valley”:

Yeah, I know what binary is! Jesus Christ, I memorized the hexadecimal times

tables when I was 14 writing machine code. OK? Ask me what 9 times F is. It’s

fleventy-five. I do not need you telling me what binary is…

It’s a cute moment, but F times 9 is not actually anything like fleventy-five. As it turns out, Erlich is quite the puffed-up bullshitter. ;)

But if not “fleventy-five”, what is F times 9?

There are a couple schemes for rendering hexadecimal numbers into English. Those by John Nystrom and Base42 use words that don’t resemble native English vocabulary very much; the system at Hex Headquarters is more suitable.

Hexadecimal F is decimal 15. Decimal 15 times 9 is decimal 135, just as hexidecimal F times 9 is hexadecimal 87.

That is, F times 9 is eightek seven. Not as funny. However…

What’s 7 squared times 5? Fimtek-five!

What’s B squared plus A? Levtek-four!